Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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I had a submarine.... once

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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