Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

your mums so fat that shes HUGE!!!!

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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