What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

#Hanging Degus

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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