What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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first

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops