A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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