Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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I regret everything.....

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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jibby jobby

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I am very humble.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops