How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

What's green and has wheels? A refrigerator, I lied about the green and the wheels.

wanna here a good joke? me too.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

WHAT THE BABIES?!

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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