- Anti Joke

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

knock knock Who's there? ...Who's there?... opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step

how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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