What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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I have aids

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Butt poop.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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