A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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your mother

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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