A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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no

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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