What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A blonde girl walks into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I died shortly after writing this.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +38

There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

thumb_up thumb_down +36

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats 2+1? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Get off my porch.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops