Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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25

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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whats 69+2? 71

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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