Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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This comment has been removed for too many average votes.

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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