What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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