You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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One time I masturbated by myself

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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baby seal walks into a club

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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