Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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A black man has 100 problems. on his AP calculus test.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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George Bush.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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