Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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