Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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