Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops