are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +12

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops