What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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