Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Waffles ate my grandma

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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