What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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