what happened to your carpool? they died.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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What's up? Your time.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Knock knock Go away

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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