What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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No soup for you!

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Double-whammy

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops