What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Lololol

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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