PENIS :)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who's the fastest kid in AA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

CHAD'S A FAG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

thumb_up thumb_down +13

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops