An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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How did th-A fridge.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Knock knock come in.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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