A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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