What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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