- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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