Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A mormon walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops