A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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A young baby died.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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