Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops