Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops