Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

whats the capital of congo famine

tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

Who's on first? Garvey.

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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