What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

FUS RO DAH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops