What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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Davey Peterson.

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well now

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Bob Saget

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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