Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops