Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

Yo mama is so fat she died

-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

Link ate ink to make him sink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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