Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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rarw

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops