Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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