Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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69

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops