How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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I grunt when I poop.

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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