Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops