Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

I am a joke. I am funny.

Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

What? Why?

Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 was a Pedophile

Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

You're a frog

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

dick dick dick... frogs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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