What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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My dad

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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