Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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