- Anti Joke

A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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