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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

women's rights

im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

roses are red, violets are violet.

THE GAME

how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

Justin Bieber

I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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