What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

whats stupid and gay all of my friends

Grammer is very important

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

A blind man walks into a wall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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